Email Violating Personalities

 

Yes, Email is Still the Way to #fail in a Deep, Meaningful Way

However, there are some ways to fail in smaller ways on a daily basis:

  • General etiquette violators
    • bcc: everyone – There are times when bcc: is desirable, e.g., when sending out a broadcast email to a large group to limit the damage of those who are too quick with “Reply to All” button. In this case, however, a person is conducting a business transaction of some sort and not revealing who else is “in the know”. Results in a lot of, “I don’t know if you’ve seen this or not,” email forwards.
    • Thread trimmer – selectively deletes one or two people periodically from a large email chain, confusing every participant on the list.
    • Reply to All abuser – distinguished from the casual Reply to All user by the use of the button in replying to department-wide email distributions.
    • Subtle Humor User – keeps you guessing on whether the person is joking.
    • !???!! – really is enthusiastic and/or concerned.
    • Priorities are out-of-whack – uses high (or even stranger low) priority markers to try to get attention for what is generally little more than an FYI email.
    • Receipt requestor – Good grief, do you really need a read receipt from the 100 people you emailed about the pot luck on Friday?
  • Appearance violators
    • Pastels and Cute Fonts User – Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
    • Script kitty – uses a nearly illegible cursive font for a default font.
    • Noisy Backgrounder – uses a background that obscures the ability to read the text on top.
    • Reverse video – loves light on dark appearance settings, which completely wreck havoc with anyone else’s replies.
  • Signature violators
    • The signature that never ends – Really, if you need to be contacted so badly that you leave your mother-in-law’s home phone, you probably should have a company cell phone.
    • Motivation spreader – Puts motivational sayings in the signature.
    • Massive signature image – Uses an embedded image in the signature that often dwarfs the email body itself.
  • Attachment violators
    • Media mailer – Those who try to attach mp3s and videos and somehow manage to fly under the “attachment size limit” radar. Unaware that audio and video actually take up a lot of storage space.
    • Sender of abnormally large documents – Someone who manages to send “office” documents that somehow violate the normal proportions and end up hitting the attachment size limit after about 10 pages.
    • Image embedder – Someone who doesn’t realize that Outlook converts embedded images to the most inefficient format possible. May use PowerPoint as an email formatting tool.
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