People in Hell Want Ice Water

It is a known fact that employees don’t know what they want. They say they want ice machines to work, but they really want all the vending machines to be replaced with a brand new vending service that provides freshly prepared (sort of) items that you can purchase for grocery deli prices without leaving the building—because employees hate leaving the building and stuff.

So whenever an employee provides feedback, either anonymously or openly, they don’t know what they’re talking about.

Employees really want open office plans, fancy break rooms, and whimsical methods of celebrating what the hell they supposed to do anyway.