Grumpy Coworker

Author: Grumpy110

  • Meeting Personalities

    • Off-mute chewer – Chews on (lunch?) audibly into the microphone.
    • Absent-minded mute button user – Starts responding with the mute button on for about a minute or more before realizing that no one is hearing the response.
    • Mute button blamer – Wasn’t paying attention.  Had to have name called several times.  Blames mute button for not having a clue what’s going on.  See also:  How the Mute Button on Your Phone Actually Works
    • Clock Watcher – Spends more time checking watch that actually participating in meeting.
    • Filibusterer – Single handedly talks the meeting into oblivion.  Not to be confused with the derailer or rambler.
    • Derailer – Somehow manages to bring up tangential topics that get everyone completely off topic for the next 15 minutes.
    • Rambler – Responds to any question with a barely intelligible introspection on the topic.  Responses to follow-up questions for clarification grow at an exponential rate.
    • Hedger – Treats every remote possibility as likely and stays non-commital unless you accept the exceptions noted.
    • Side Conversation Starter – Either completely oblivious or too rude to care that another meeting is going on.
    • Overhead speaker – Not an actual attendee or person, but an object which causes an echo in speakerphones and disrupts the meeting until it becomes silent again.
    • Tattle-tale – At the first of not getting his or her way, threatens to go tell a more powerful person to whom the tattler is connected.
    • Foot propper – The meeting is a lounge to this person:  Feet are propped up on the table and behaves generally too relaxed to actually be engaged in the meeting.
    • Multitasker – Furiously typing on the keyboard, but obviously not to take notes on the meeting.  Don’t bother asking this person questions unless you want to rehash the entire meeting.
    • Referee – “Sees the merits of both sides” of an intense debate.  Tries to make everybody play nice, regardless of their agendas.
    • Idea killer – Always has a negative scenario for any proposal.  Never has an idea himself.
    • Yes man – Would say no pants Friday at the office was a good idea, provided the right person proposed it.
    • Interrupter – Jumps in mid-details and often freaks out about half the story or asks questions whose answers were already on their way.
    • Belittler – Often pulls rank or “experience” to shut other people off.
    • Saboteur – Is either annoyed at the assignment or annoyed at not getting the project lead, but plays nice during the meeting, silently plotting the slow death of the project.  Can also accomplish goals as an inciter.
    • Inciter – May jump communication chains to create the illusion of one person hiding information from another.

  • Our content filtering blocks “blogs”. Maybe we should block the “Internet”, too.

    Apparently, there is dangerous stuff out there online.  Individuals are writing these subversive things called “blog posts”.  Word is, that if an employee of our company comes across one, all productivity ceases.

    Unfortunately, much of the current or obscure information that I’m looking for online happens to be in either forums or blog posts.  I’ve heard these “internet forums” are dangerous, too.

    There’s nothing more frustrating than finding the solution to a specific problem I’m having by doing a search, only to find the article which contains the answer is blocked because it’s on a “blog”.

    This approach is tremendously effective in preventing me from wasting time of course, considering that I can pull up all those awful “blog posts” on my smartphone.  Of course, if I’m trying to actual bring up useful page, I have to view it on a 3.5″ screen.

  • Bookmarked: Multitasking is still a lie

    Multitasking is still a lie | Christopher S. Penn’s Awaken Your Superhero.

    I love this:  “If you are multitasking, you are either doing work that is trivial or you’re doing a poor job.”

    Try this experiment if you doubt the reality of the above statement:  Next time you’re on a date with your spouse or significant other, be sure to stay buried in your smartphone the whole time.

    Okay, so that takes focus, huh?

    Well, certainly, watching your favorite football team play requires far less focus.  Try watching the game while reading up on some complex instructions.  Did you comprehend the instructions?  Did you enjoy the game?  Or did you lose twice?

    Realistically, multitasking can work if one of the tasks is trivial or tedious and the other more enjoyable:

    • running on a treadmill and listening to music
    • sorting and folding the laundry and watching a movie

    Of course, one activity is primarily physical and the other primarily mental.

    However, in the work world, we’re never talking about tightening lug nuts and financial analysis in the multitasking context. We’re talking about two knowledge-based tasks.

  • Who here likes department-wide meetings?

    I know you’re out there.

    There are far too many companies who have them for there not to be millions of fans of them.

    Just admit it. The first step to being cured is admitting that you have a problem. It’s okay. We understand.

    Actually, we don’t understand, but we’d at least like to know that there is *someone* out there that is actually interested in these things.

  • The overhead speaker / paging system

    In an office environment where everyone has cubes with their own phones, cell phones, and laptops, how often is there a reason for someone to be paged?  I’d imagine in the case of life or death, or birth, use of the paging system is valid.  For all other purposes, if it’s going to be moderately important that you be reached in a timely manner when away from your desk, the person likely to need to reach you should have your cell phone on you.

    More annoying still is the use of the paging system to make announcements constantly. I may not be at the XYZ event because I don’t care about it.  Just a thought.  I really don’t want to have an announcement made unless you would feel comfortable dialing 911 in response to whatever you’re making an announcement about.

    Would you use the fire alarm if there were doughnuts in the break room?  Okay, maybe I’ll make an exception for doughnuts.