Grumpy Coworker

Author: Grumpy104

  • Hot Potato Status Meeting Game

    [Amazon affiliate link]

    Originally posted at YouMightBe.com.

    Object of the game: Don’t be caught giving your status update when the potato goes off.

    Requires: Hot potato timer or random timer smartphone app.  If you know of a link to a good one, please leave it in the comments.

    Rules of the game:

    1. A different person starts the status meeting every week.
    2. The random “Hot Potato” timer starts when the first person begins his or her update.
    3. When an update is complete, the person picks a random person to hand/toss the “hot potato” to.
    4. Repeat giving updates and handing off the potato until updates are complete or the hot potato goes off.
    5. If the potato goes off during your update, you must buy coffee and donuts/bagels/etc. for the entire team the next morning.
    6. If the entire meeting goes off without the potato going off, the manager buys the food.
    7. Interrupting an update means that you get to hold the potato next, or if you’ve gone already, until the person giving the update is finished talking.

  • December happens this time every year.

    2011 Planning Calendar (Amazon affiliate link)

    There are certain things that have to wait until year-end… most of them have to do with financials, payroll, or other things that directly involve paying or receiving money or the government wanting to know what the company has done this year. Much of the work revolving around these normal year-end occurrences also happens just after year-end.

    These last-minute projects in the middle of the month December don’t count.

    December happens this time every year.  Why is there a sudden rush of things that must be done before the end of the year?  Where was all of this work in the summer months?

    Do you wait until December to get serious about your New Year’s resolution from the beginning of the year?  Okay, that’s a horrible example.

    Why does all of this work magically need to be done by the end of the year now? Did we look at our accomplishments during the year and find that we didn’t have enough?  If working like crazy during the month of December is all that it takes to justify a paycheck the rest of the year, can we all just have the first 11 months off with pay?

  • Stop the rudeness!

    It always seems to happen during the worthwhile presentation:  the ongoing “side-bar conversation” that is loud enough to be heard in the street-bar on a Friday night.

    There are 3 possible messages these people are sending with their rudeness:

    • “I am a higher level employee than the person presenting, and I wish to make it abundantly clear that I don’t have to respect them.”
    • “I am an equal level employee, but I know them, don’t respect them, and should be a higher level than them.”
    • “I am a lower level employee, and a moron.”

    In any case, you are being a disrespectful jerk. Do the rest of us a favor and stop it.

  • Snore at your own risk

    Sleeping at your desk is a very risky thing to do.  It can quickly lead to a drastic reduction in income.  There is always someone who doesn’t seem to get this.

    If you don’t know whether you snore when you sleep, please ask someone. If you do snore when you fall asleep, and you still allow yourself to fall asleep at your desk, can I just say that you deserve what you get?  When you feel your eyelids getting heavy, stand up, man! Take a walk.  Get a cup of coffee or a soda from the breakroom.Just don’t glare at the rest of us when they escort you out the door, like somehow it was our duty to become co-conspirators in your stupidity. We are not going to cough really loud, throw something soft at you, or inconspicuously walk to your desk to pretend we actually need your help with something.  You are snoring at your own risk.

  • Oh the noise… Cell phone ringers

    Ah, I remember when a digital beep pattern was the norm for the cell phone. Then, cell phones started coming with preprogrammed “tunes”, that were just a variation on that beep pattern.

    At various points in time, using a voice recording, midi, or music file for a phone ringer were all novel. Occasionally, some fun or catchy sound or song comes along, and we are tempted to use it as our full time ringer. Unfortunately, the company is not paying you to amuse or entertain us, the coworkers. Maybe if you’re a comedian, clown, musician, you entertain patrons or clients–but I doubt those people resort to ringtones.

    Besides, “Gold Digger” and “I Kissed a Girl” ringtones make things awkward. Use a plain ringer and turn it down or put it on vibrate. Otherwise, I’m going to have to go Office Space on your phone.

  • Grooming is wonderful

    That doesn’t mean that your cubicle is an ideal place for it.

    *Clip*

    *Clip*

    *Clip*

    Please stop now.