Grumpy Coworker

Author: Grumpy100

  • Geography is Clearly Not Your Cup of Tea, Ergo, Your Opinions on Those Countries Aren’t

    If you go to the tourist traps of Austria, they sell bumper stickers that depict kangaroos with a line crossed through them. If you really think about this, this is clearly geared toward the ignorance of English speakers… after all, Austria in German is Österreich, whereas Australia in German is Australien.

    Would I be wrong in declaring your opinion on the people of both “Australia” and “Austria” invalid if you can’t keep the two countries straight in your head?

    Furthermore, though there’s never really an appropriate time or place to express your ignorant opinions of other cultures, doing so after demonstrating that you can’t even place the country you’re speaking of in the proper hemisphere is a special kind of fail.

    What would make a fail like this even more special would be expressing such opinions near coworkers from similar cultures.  Luckily, those coworkers don’t seem to fit with the stereotypes that you express.

  • Length of Interruption is not Proportional to Amount of Disruption

    This topic has been covered here before: Just because something requires very little time on its own does not mean it disrupts less. Any activity that takes “only a small amount of time” is likely to be accompanied by many other ones that carry the same justification for their existence.

    Justifying that something should be done because it takes an insignificant amount of time is the same as saying that a 0.02% increase in your property tax should not concern you. The individual amount may be insignificant, but after years of property tax increases, you may end up with 1 or 2% extra in taxes.  More importantly, every additional request will carry the extra guilt trip of having accepted increases before and may embolden further, possibly larger requests.

    Cognitive disruption

    Deep thought tasks require deep concentration–see Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule.  You can’t do deep analysis or intense tasks if you have 30 minutes between meetings.

    Meetings are only one such offender.  Logging your time by work code and customer, and filling out three pages of forms upon beginning or ending a task are other such offenders.  Let’s say that you were reading an unabridged copy (1488 pages) of Les Misérables (Signet Classics), and every 10th page, read a page of A Tale of Two Cities (free Kindle Edition). You’re going to get the details of the characters confused because the settings are so similar.

    This example may seem extreme, but in reality, is this not what all of this extra tasks are doing? You record time about a project. You send an email about a project. You open some form and fill out information about the project. At some point you may actually do work on the project. At this point, you’re going to have to start a spreadsheet to keep track of your tasks and what necessary steps you’ve done as part of completing a task. Fortunately, you can at least create some sort of calculated field to turn the task green, yellow, or red, based on whether the task is complete, partially complete, or not started. That should save you the mental energy of determining whether a task is actually complete–so at least you have that going for you.

  • Be Sure That Customer Service Doesn’t Cause the Process to Suffer

    Look, I know you want to be helpful and productive.  It’s just that we have a process here.

    We can’t have you helping customers out if it comes at the expense of the “5-step process to Serve the Customer Better.”

    The customer can wait.

    Also, make sure to ask the customer who to bill your time to so that we can make sure that you get paid.

    Be sure to get the proper accounting id and record your billing as the proper work type code number.

    Thanks.

  • Not everyone speaks English as their first language.

    Welcome to the world.

    It’s a diverse place out here.

    You will probably have to speak to someone eventually that doesn’t speak perfect {name your country as an adjective here} English.

    You may have to listen closely.  You may have to ask politely for that person to repeat themselves.

    This is all understandable.

    However, it is unacceptable to angrily raise your voice in frustration because the other person doesn’t speak the same brand of English you do.

    Of course, maybe you’re not raising your voice in frustration.  Maybe you’re just raising your voice to be understood better.  Let me point two things out:  First, the other person doesn’t have a hearing issue.  Second, you’re the one having difficulty understanding.

    Thanks.

  • Keep your motivational sayings to yourself and not in my email.

    I appreciate that you love your job, or that you at least have a daily affirmation that you repeat to tell yourself that you do.

    Do you know who reads your motivational saying when you use it in your signature line?  Hint:  It’s not you.

    Yes, that’s right.  Everyone else reads your motivational saying.  It gets attached to every request for help.  It gets attached to every reminder to fill out my bureaucratic paperwork.  It gets attached to every admonition that you send out.

    Now I know why you enjoy your job.  You’re making us miserable with being a bureaucratic task master.

    Think about the perception of that email signature.

  • Hand Sanitizer Does Not Take the Place of Soap and Water

    I’m really starting to dread the day the hand sanitizer dispensers went in.

    Somehow, many people are under the impression that the hand sanitizer *cleans* your hands.

    If you’ve been baking brownies, you can’t clean any batter off with hand sanitizer.  You’ll just end up with brownies that have been disinfected on the surface.

    If you don’t believe me, ask an academic:  “Hand sanitizers no substitute for soap and water.”

  • Some really good insight into why we all hate powerpoint…

    Renegade HR:  The Folly of Powerpoint

    I truly think that bad and misused PowerPoint is a symptom of a bigger problem:  either lack of intrinsic understanding of what you’re talking about or lack of writing skills.  Maybe you even have both problems.

    The same goes for long-winded white papers.  At least in the case of the white paper, the individual circumstances of your audience are an unknown, so the lack of understanding on at least one side is understandable.  Ultimately, however, if you are defining what the problem is and how to solve it, you should have the depth of understanding to break down your message into very simple terms.

    Which brings me back to PowerPoint:  If you are presenting on a topic in which you don’t have a strong enough understanding of the topic to put less than 100 words [YIKES!] on each slide, you probably shouldn’t be presenting on the topic.

    Every one of the four tips mentioned in the post (tell stories, stop using bullets, stop using words, go naked) only works if you have enough understanding of your topic to let go of your slide show.

    Otherwise, you’re just reading aloud the big print version of a research paper.

  • Wrong number … again

    I do not work in the Parts Department. I have never worked in the Parts Department. You would think after working in this office as long as I have, I would stop getting calls for the Parts Department.

    I can understand the need to reuse extension numbers within an office building. What I cannot understand is the frequency that I have the following conversation.

    “Hello, this is Mr. Grumpy, in Marketing. How may I help you?”
    “Yes…” <pause> “Is Denise there?”
    “What part of my greeting did you not understand, sir?”
    “Is this 111-1234?”
    “Yes.”
    <pause> “Well, I am looking for Denise in the Parts Department.
    This is the number I got from the phone listing.”
    “Sir, I can assure you that nobody named Denise is hiding in my cubicle. Just out of curiosity, is there a date on your phone listing?”
    <longer pause> “Uh, it looks like 1995.”
    “Gee, that’s a shock. Would you like me to transfer you to the Operator now?”

  • Meeting Personalities

    • Off-mute chewer – Chews on (lunch?) audibly into the microphone.
    • Absent-minded mute button user – Starts responding with the mute button on for about a minute or more before realizing that no one is hearing the response.
    • Mute button blamer – Wasn’t paying attention.  Had to have name called several times.  Blames mute button for not having a clue what’s going on.  See also:  How the Mute Button on Your Phone Actually Works
    • Clock Watcher – Spends more time checking watch that actually participating in meeting.
    • Filibusterer – Single handedly talks the meeting into oblivion.  Not to be confused with the derailer or rambler.
    • Derailer – Somehow manages to bring up tangential topics that get everyone completely off topic for the next 15 minutes.
    • Rambler – Responds to any question with a barely intelligible introspection on the topic.  Responses to follow-up questions for clarification grow at an exponential rate.
    • Hedger – Treats every remote possibility as likely and stays non-commital unless you accept the exceptions noted.
    • Side Conversation Starter – Either completely oblivious or too rude to care that another meeting is going on.
    • Overhead speaker – Not an actual attendee or person, but an object which causes an echo in speakerphones and disrupts the meeting until it becomes silent again.
    • Tattle-tale – At the first of not getting his or her way, threatens to go tell a more powerful person to whom the tattler is connected.
    • Foot propper – The meeting is a lounge to this person:  Feet are propped up on the table and behaves generally too relaxed to actually be engaged in the meeting.
    • Multitasker – Furiously typing on the keyboard, but obviously not to take notes on the meeting.  Don’t bother asking this person questions unless you want to rehash the entire meeting.
    • Referee – “Sees the merits of both sides” of an intense debate.  Tries to make everybody play nice, regardless of their agendas.
    • Idea killer – Always has a negative scenario for any proposal.  Never has an idea himself.
    • Yes man – Would say no pants Friday at the office was a good idea, provided the right person proposed it.
    • Interrupter – Jumps in mid-details and often freaks out about half the story or asks questions whose answers were already on their way.
    • Belittler – Often pulls rank or “experience” to shut other people off.
    • Saboteur – Is either annoyed at the assignment or annoyed at not getting the project lead, but plays nice during the meeting, silently plotting the slow death of the project.  Can also accomplish goals as an inciter.
    • Inciter – May jump communication chains to create the illusion of one person hiding information from another.

  • Are you a Business Manager or a Parole Officer?

    I understand that small organizations, especially non-profit organizations, have a need to tightly control their flow of funds.  If you’re dealing with a new “contractor” for the first time, I can understand wanting to make sure that you don’t get burned by some con artist trying to squeeze more than was agreed upon out of your organization.

    However, once your organization has a working and ongoing relationship with someone, especially over more than a year, it’s time to assume a certain level of trust.

    This is particularly true if your organization paid the wrong amount–say $420 instead of $240.  I would expect the at fault party to assume the risk in correcting the mistake as soon as possible.

    This is especially true if your contractor was the one who called you to let you know that you wrote a check for too much.   That’s pretty insulting to someone’s intelligence and integrity to make them mail back or drop off a check for the wrong amount before writing a check for the right amount.  If theft was the motive, it be easier for the contractor to play dumb and just deposit the check for the wrong amount.

    Some other, less offensive ways of dealing with accidentally paying too much to a repeat contractor:

    • If you still don’t trust the person to return the check at his or her next convenience, you could issue a stop payment on the incorrect check.  You’re spending $30 to save $180 in this case, but at least the evil contractor that you regularly trust to do a job won’t steal from you in such an obvious way.
    • Considering you have more work assigned to the contractor, consider a credit for future services instead.

    Bottom line, if you’ve hired someone for thousands of dollars worth of services over the years, and have more services scheduled for that person, is it worth creating a breakdown in trust because you made an error?  If you don’t trust the contractor, why is this person doing any work for your organization after all of this time?