Grumpy Coworker

Category: Food

  • Leave the stuff that’s not yours alone!

    How hard is it to leave other people’s things alone?  What is this, 2nd grade?

    I could understand if you had a non-descript Lean Cuisine or Hot Pocket that you put in the freezer and accidentally grabbed the someone else’s flavor, or miscounted how many you had put in there and grabbed someone else’s when your stash was actually depleted.

    No.

    I’m not even talking about mistaking a lone donut on the break room table for a giveaway.

    I’m talking about:

    • Perusing items in the donation bin for a charity.
    • Actually taking things from the donation bin for a charity.
    • Grabbing food from the freezer that is in a box that is clearly someone else’s.
    • Any food in a brown bag in the refrigerator.
    • Any food that’s on someone’s desk–especially if someone has already taken a bite out of it.

    Is the company not paying you enough to get by?  Judging by the maturity of your social skills, you’re probably still overpaid.

  • Learn how to microwave popcorn or don’t

    Untitled by skaty222, on Flickr

    Honestly, microwave popcorn often smells like unwiped… well, it stinks when it’s cooking. This is especially true of the higher “butter” content microwave popcorn.

    But that’s okay–who am I to begrudge somebody a tasty afternoon snack?

    Burnt popcorn, on the other hand, smells like a grease fire in a smoker’s lounge, and tastes like flaked off iron from an iron skillet. (Don’t ask.) There’s no way you’re enjoying that popcorn, and you’re torturing the rest of us.

    More importantly, you seem to be burning popcorn with some consistency. Maybe you should try a sandwich for a snack instead:  less office-consuming smell and probably fewer calories.

    It’s not really that hard to pop popcorn in the microwave:

    1. Remove plastic wrap.
    2. Place in middle of microwave so that the “wings” of the turn up [as is marked on the package].
    3. DON’T use the [Popcorn] button on the microwave–at least not as your only guide…
    4. Start the microwave on HIGH for something like 4 minutes or 3:15– whatever…
    5. Listen for the popping to go crazy and then slow down to between and 1 and 2 seconds per pop.
    6. Stop the microwave.
    7. Shake the bag.
    8. Open the bag.
    9. Eat the popcorn.

    Steps 7 through 9 may be obvious to some, but I wanted to be clear, just in case there was any confusion.